I said I was gonna save this one for the book, but I can't wait that long to address this topic. This idea that there are no good Black men left thing is reaching epidemic proportions.
I was sitting in a corner of Barnes & Noble one weekend reading an old issue of Essence and I stopped to scan through the viewer responses to a previous issue. There was a whole page of women thanking the editors for featuring 60 Do Right Men. In the letters, each of the women complained how there were no good Black men left and they heaped praise upon praise to the 60 men featured as if they were the only last good Black men on Earth. Some American women talked of moving to different cities to meet men. A woman from London said the same. Seems the drought is international now.
All I could think is ''huh?''
A recent day doesn't pass anymore when I don't hear a woman complain about the Good Black Man shortage. The cliched refrains always get brought up. Apparently all Black men are in jail (or parole), gay, jobless, on the DL or dating white women. That minor percentage actually left don't read, work at UPS (it's a job w/ benefits and OT, don't know why that's a complaint) or are otherwise underemployed, fat, ugly, have kids, are whores, are already married and/or are Mama's boys.
Again, I say ''huh?''
I know tons of dudes. TONS. And they are relatively great guys. Oh, and they are gainfully employed. I don't try to meet men, I just do. And once you meet one, you meet a bunch more. They all come with friends, usually of similar dispositions. It's like they multiply exponentially or something. There are TONS of them.
So since I'm not looking, and more, I'm tired of hearing women complain, I'll tell you how I meet men. And for the New York ladies, I'll tell you a couple places (tomorrow’s blog) they're hiding in the city.
So you wanna meet a man? It’s simple.
Smile and say hi.
Yes, that's it.
Men do not like rejection. They believe the sight of a happy smiling woman lessens their chances of such. It is a rare man that does not speak back and MOST come over and start some conversation. In all the years I've been smiling and saying hi, I can count on one hand the number of men that have not come over and not one has not said hi back. Now all the men that speak back will not be ''good'' but at least now you are meeting men and you have a pile from which to sort out the good and the bad. In time, you will be able to tell your type without even speaking by the way the man carries himself.
Smile and say hi can work in sweats (men love some women fresh from the gym. Maybe the sweat releases phermones?) but it helps to have on heels, and have some personality and have an attractive face. (The most important of these is a personality.) Now I know you are thinking, ‘D, you’re in the Stone Age. You’re telling me I have to on heels and some make-up to meet a man?’
Um, how do you catch fish? With bait. Go put on your heels.
Menfolk reading…. Can you co-sign smile and say hi (cause I know they don’t believe me)? Or give some additional advice for women to meet ya’ll?